Never Too Late to Translate . . . or is it?

OK, so before we get started, no sarcastic comments about our naivety, no “what were you thinking,” no rolling of eyes. Way back when, when we booked our villa in Nesso Italy, our charming hosts gave us what sounded like a reasonable tip. They said Nesso wasn’t like Como, or Bellagio, or other more tourist-focused villages. Nesso was quieter, and a typical hamlet where the majority of people did not speak English. They recommended we learn some Italian.

Our quiet, but beautiful little Nesso, complete with castle ruins, a waterfall and the famous bridge!

I was excited by the prospect! I’ve always loved the Italian language and wished I could learn it. In fact, I had my daughter’s old textbook from her Italian 101 class. Now was my chance. Both hubby and I got Duolingo and began our lessons in earnest. We had over six months to go, and were sure we would be Buongiorno-ing and Prego-ing like pros in no time.

B is for Boy, were we wrong!

 If you’ve ever done Duolingo, you know it kind of makes a contest out of learning a language. You’re rewarded with Ba-ding noises and XP points which you have no idea what to do with. You get firm reminders that the app is disappointed if you miss a day. You have chances to partner up with friends and family to enhance your chances at more gems, which again, not sure what they do. What you don’t really get is how the language works, conjugation, or why you say something one way in one circumstance, but completely different in another. You don’t really learn the why’s, but we were sure we were learning Italian.

Until we came face to face with an actual Italian. Once in Nesso, we had our first encounter with Demitri in our tiny market. We both completely froze and stared at him, our brains wondering where all our Italian words went! I immediately and inexplicably started speaking Spanish. He just looked at me blankly, naturally. Completely humbled and embarrassed, we immediately pulled out our phones and Google Translated our order.

The famous Dimitri with Halli

Once home, we did a post mortem on what went wrong. We were on the leaderboard of Duolingo for heaven’s sake! How could we have not only failed miserably, but also forgot the few words we absolutely should have known? Daughter Halli, having learned Thai in three months, had a few answers. She said the part of our brain that deals with language recognizes that we are no longer speaking our “home” language, and immediately switches to whatever foreign language might be the default, in my case, Spanish.  So not only do you have to learn the new language, you have to override your brain’s inclination to spout out the foreign language you already know!

Steve trying to buy bread

This was going to be harder than we thought.  Now, two months later, I’m sorry to report it’s still harder than we thought. It turns out it’s not easy for people of a certain age to learn a new language! We do understand a lot more, and we can read a lot more, but speaking is still a challenge. We try . . . boy, do we try. But it’s still difficult  to come up with the words, or the proper way to say it. And it’s disappointing to prepare for an interaction, go in with the correct sentences, and have the person say “One minute” and go get an English-speaking associate. We’re obviously not there yet.

Pictures help a lot

But I will say Italian is not only a beautiful language, it’s also a fun one. We’ve learned some typical phrases that we love to use in all kinds of circumstances. One must learn “Va bene” immediately because it can mean everything from “ok” to “whatever” depending on your tone. We learned “Ci piove sul bagnato,” which literally translates to it’s raining on the wet, which is like when it rains it pours, or adding insult to injury. My favorite is “Cocco mio” which you say affectionately to your kids or grandnuggets- “my little coconut.”

My cocco mio Halli put up these sheets for us, and also made cards for all the household items.

We were lucky our friend Jerry was one of our first visitors. As a fluent Italian-speaker, he immediately embraced the impossible . . . teaching us Italian. Even after he left, he was still sending us Word of the Day lessons, which taught us way more than Duolingo ever did. Many of his lessons were funny. For example, I told him my least favorite doctor phrase now is “As we age . . .” - like when I’m at the doctor’s office to get an answer on how to keep doing something and instead they try to discourage you from doing it by saying “As we age . . . .” I can now say that in Italian- “Man mano che invecchiamo . . . .”

Some of his lessons were just interesting. Like everyone knows the word amore, and the phrase “Ti amo” for “I love you.” What I didn’t know is you ONLY say that for your significant other. You don’t say that if you love a dog, or your mom, or croissants or even if you tell your friend you love her. In those cases, you say “Ti voglio bene” which literally translates to I want you well, but means I love you. Hmmm . . . who have I wrongly "ti amo'd?"

A successful transaction!

I also learned some fun phrases in the book my friend gave me for this trip- The View From Lake Como.

“Tutte le riposte si trovano nella saggezza della vera amicizia” means “All the answers are found in the wisdom of true friendship.”  I love that.

Or “Se vuoi mordere, morditi la lingua” which means “If you bite, bite your tongue,” a more clever way of saying if you have something mean to say, bite your tongue.

In Bellagio, there's a lot more English spoken even when we try our Italian- somehow they know we're American??? 

And lastly, “Il dolce far niente” which means “the sweetness of nothing”, something we are learning more and more about here on Lake Como. Retirement is a transition- it takes a while to learn how to relax, how to stop and then how to observe and enjoy. How to live big in the present, in the small moments. Il dolce far niente- a short phrase with a big, important meaning. Now I just have to remember it!

We did well enough to get a great "pranzo" (late lunch) in Lezzeno!