Birthmothers are Moms Too
Mother’s Day … what a joyful special day. But for some moms, Mother’s Day can be an arrow through the heart … just a reminder that the child who made them mothers is being raised by someone else.
Birthmothers are mothers too. They did the hardest work of parenting one can do at the very beginning of their baby’s life. They chose love. They chose to give their child the best childhood they could provide, and they did it at the expense of the longings of their own hearts. One of my favorite quotes is from an unknown birthmother- “If I loved him any less, one ounce less, he would be with me now. My love for him was the only thing that could enable me to break my own heart.”
I’m a birthmother. I was in that same position, and I know about that same agonizing, powerful love that motivates you to make that impossible decision. My story had a happy ending. Although we had a closed adoption, my daughter chose to meet me at age 16, and she had the full, loving support of her adoptive parents. That meeting evolved into many more meetings which resulted in our two families blending together in the most beautiful way.
I was blessed. Not every birthmother has the same circumstances, the same reception, the same outcome. But we are all still mothers. It’s important to remember that even if that child is not in our lives, that first selfless act of love, executed as the child just begins his or her journey, is born from a mother’s instinct to do the best for her child. And she deserves the honor, respect and recognition when Mother’s Day rolls around.
This Mother’s Day, let’s honor all the mothers- the bio moms, the step-moms, foster moms, mothers of the heart, adoptive mothers, and birthmothers. Happy Mother’s Day!
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